REALLY SERIOUS
SPRITUAL RETREATS – MISSION ABANDONED?
Dear Readers,
As promised,
before we leave the topic of spiritual retreats, having done the most budget
(yes, even free) and the most expensive (we came to the conclusion, not particularly
authentic) before we leave this topic, we wanted to visit, just out of pure
interest, the really, really serious retreats.
In researching this, we came back again and again to the budget
ones. Guess what, in our effort to find
the cheapest retreats, we actually found the most serious ones to boot. This fact alone, dear Readers, I think you’ll
agree, says it all. The earnest, honest
retreats are the cheapest, and I refer us back to our first post on this, on
what defines a retreat, and I think you’ll find, money and luxury are not at
the top of the list.
So what do we
do now? I hear you cry! Never fear, dear Readers, your Hapless Blogger
is here! During our research we
unearthed some rather, erm, unusual retreats, and in the spirit of sharing this
information (mainly because now I know it, I can’t un-know it if you know what
I mean, so I think you should know it, too), we thought you might enjoy the
World’s weirdest retreats…yup, get prepared to be properly weirded-out:
We were going
to start with the weirdest, but to be honest, they’re all weird so it doesn’t
really matter. So number one is Crying
Therapy, Japan. Yup, definitely
weird: ladies are paying for “handsome
man” to make them cry. Basically
Japanese entrepreneur, Hiroki Terai, founded a group crying service where
everyone cries and a “handsome weeping boy” comforts them…Crying is supposed to
be a release, both healthy and cathartic and is said to relieve stress
levels. Originally designed to aid
divorced women who have often, especially in the Japanese culture, divorced out
of frustration as it’s common for the men to work 14 hour days with no or
little free time, plus women themselves are indeed working these same hours, he
found that this same idea benefitted others, too. Why a “handsome man”? Well apparently attraction heightens the
emotions and helps with the elation felt after the crying period is over…interesting…weird,
but interesting.
Next we are
going to Slovakia to have cryotherapy.
This time, nothing to do with crying, but with freezing. This, dear Readers, involves staying up to 3
minutes in a chamber at -120 degrees MINUS 120 DEGREES ARE THEY KIDDING?! Then you have to do a session of vigorous
exercise for 20 mins afterwards AGAIN, ARE THEY KEIDDING?! Why would we do this? The effects of extreme cold apparently
triggers a process which helps to regulate the nerve endings, stimulates the metabolism
and increases the pain threshold hence has been used by athletes for
years. Thanks to the stimulation and
production of endorphins, adrenalin and testosterone, those suffering from
chronic pain can be helped…So you go there, you’re given what looks like gym
shorts, hockey socks, a headband (terrible flash-backs to my school days,
Readers) and some parts are left exposed (God only knows). Then you go into a special “pre-chamber” of
-60 for 30 secs and then to the bad boy for 3 minutes where you are allowed to
move around…then you need to work out intensively for 20 mins to get the full
effect…all for only 12 Euros!
Bargain! Get yourselves down to www.aquacity.sk now!
Let’s get
weirder, but so much happier: how about
a wine spa in, you guessed it, Japan.
Vinotherapy: where you doggy
paddle around in some red wine (probably best not to actually drink it). It is said to be good for your skin and to
slow the ageing process. So get
yourselves down to the Yunnessun Spa Resort in Hakone, Japan, where you can
bathe in coffee, green tea, Sake, ramen or red wine… www.atlasobscura.com/places/yunessun-spa-resort
Now, being
serious for a minute here, dear Readers, in all our joking around, for our last
“experience” we have actually stumbled upon the retreat we have spent the
previous two Blog posts looking for.
Interestingly enough, it didn’t show up in any of our conventional searches
but we have found it! This is exactly
what I (don’t know about you) had pictured when the words “spiritual” and “retreat”
were put together. We have found the holy
grail of spiritual retreats, the big daddy:
Ayahuasca Shaman Retreat, Peru. This
is IT! Basically the Amazonians have
been doing this for years. Participants
experience visions and epiphanies.
How? By taking copious amounts of
psychedelic plants. You need to go with
Blue Morpho Tours www.bluemorphotours.com
have a look at this website: it’s
really, really weird. But do you know
what? It is the retreat we have been searching
for: private and personalised. It will heal you, cure you and change your
life. You stay in a lodge compound near
the Itaya River in the Peruvian Amazon in 180 acres of private reserve. There’s a swimming pool, private lodge, guest
bungalows, the works. There’s a special
chef catering for your Shamanic diet, a lovely lounge area and of course, the
area where they prepare the “Ayahuasca”.
They offer various different retreats but all are super private and
mainly cost £1900 for 7 nights 5 ceremony days all-inclusive so this is not
what you would call expensive.
Now, here
come the interesting part. The
warnings. I was so excited and this sounded
so holy grailish, but these may have put me off slightly: during the retreat you are not allowed to
consume sugar or anything that tastes sweet (fair enough), alcohol or “street
drugs” (whatever they are) nor for 7 days afterwards…ok…During, and for 30 days
after the retreat you are not allowed to consume pork or pork products (weird)
and no sex during or for 3 days after the retreat (well, most people with
children know what that’s like anyway) but this is the worrying bit: if you don’t stick to these rules, they
actually warn you that you could have serious physical, emotional, mental and
spiritual affliction! Well, what do you
think about that, Readers? What ON EARTH
are they giving you?
So on that
bombshell, with definitely the most serious, and inexpensive retreat we have arguably
found what we were looking for…who’s coming with us?!
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